I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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