drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
