you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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