rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.