Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
