But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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