Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
