You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
