nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
