Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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