garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
