sarcasm needs its own font
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
