And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So vagazzling was a success
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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