Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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