This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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