Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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