he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
not ubering you a puppy
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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