i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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