i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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