I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
