I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let's get the cat blown out
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
