I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just high enough for therapy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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