come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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