Just cropdusted the office
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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