today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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