I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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