Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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