Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
