Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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