It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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