I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
