so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
