I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
