make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
