I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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