are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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