all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
