Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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