you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
