I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
