do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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