so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
