he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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