with your own penis?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
