He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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