Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
