he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
