everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
