There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
