Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
