my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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