They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
