We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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