He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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