hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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