Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
