We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
