I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
