If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
