the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize
