he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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