even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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