there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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