I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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