i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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