I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
