I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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